Frangipani

To be or not to be Are these the only possible states? In the va et vient, Isn't there a state which is in-between? Then, why will I not be that...why can I not be? Why do I always have to be at one end or the other? The journey is made of the walking, the stopping, the pausing, and the u-turns Then, why does just the start and end qualify? The breaths in between, the sweat, the tears, the smiles, the falls, the fear, the anxiety... All of it is the state of being.

Mumbai, a city, which I've visited but once or twice. Mumbai is not a city which tugs at my heart. There is something about the place, which makes me want to look for an escape. It is too crowded, too many people all the time and that does mean - all the time. I recall my shock when I saw the local train teeming with people at 1:00 am in the night!!! Instead of feeling liberated, I had felt disoriented. Mumbai - never called out to me until 26/11 connected us. 26/11 was never going to be the same ever again in my life. Each year as I wake up to family and friends wishing me a happy birthday, I am reminded of what transpired in Mumbai that day. The horror of it always come back. For me, a spectator who is affected because of the date, the horror is just a damp feeling. I think of all those people who were there and then weren't there again. And today, the same gnawing feeling is back because of Paris. Paris - another city, different feelings. Paris of the lovely bridges, th...

Literal translation: Discovering the baolis of Delhi with a crazy heart Saturday had been a crazy working day with unusual timing of ending at 9 pm. I wasn’t sure if I would have the energy to make it to the walk by Delhi by Foot. The walk was to start at 8 am on a Sunday. Who wakes up so early on a Sun?! Well, apparently loads of people do. I confirmed with V and we decided to wake each other up. So, Sun dawned bright and fresh and off I started towards the Metro. Met V enroute and we reached Barakhamba all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Ramit Mitra, the host and master of ceremonies for all things Delhi by Foot was right there. We waited for the other fellow walkers to join in and the Sun morning calmness of Barakhamba hit us. We saw some bikers standing just across and thought how cool that was! Little did we know that they would be our friends on this walk. The next surprise for me was to see a familiar face…Monsieur Madavane. And all of my JNU years came back to me. I never ...

Where did so much hate come from? How did people become this? Who sowed these seeds of violence? What kind of religion is this? Will there ever be innocence – unharmed, untinged with darkness and blood? They killed innocent lives, young children…and for what? To take revenge? To extinguish their very breath because they were living a normal life? Studying to become something? In a school to learn, play, grow, love… HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW?

Once again…Rape…makes it to the headlines and we fume and fret and offer our opinion and judgment. Once again, no real action will take place. No case will be put up, nothing will happen to the accused. Yes, he’s been caught. Yes, he’s been put behind the bars. So?! He has already been there and done that before. This person was sent to the prison earlier too on the same account. Raping is like a hobby for him; he rapes, goes to jail, serves a short sentence, is out on bail and back at pursuing his hobby. How convenient?! And the girls – they dare to hail cans at night, they dare to step out at night, they dare to wear short clothes, they dare to work and have fun --- in the night. They dare to exist!!! That seems to be the crux of the matter…that WE EXIST! There is no law, no shame for the guilty. The women are the ones to be judged again and again. Their very fault being that that they have two X chromosomes. They have a body structure and shape that is provocative. They happen t...

It starts at the back of the head. Sometimes it is so vivid that it threatens to spill over...over onto the conversations in the room, over and above the music reaching the ears, shimmering over the traffic sounds and lights...over onto the now. Yesterday looking at the symmetry of flowers, Monet came back. The first time that Monet had entered this life. As mundane a surrounding as a classroom, thin wooden benches with uncomfortable backs. Strong sunlight streaming in and forming designs on the floor. Little sounds of the birds outside. Larger sounds of the people inside. Bewitched, we all watched and heard the teacher tell us fascinating stories of people who saw the light, who saw nature, who saw paint like no one else. People who started the Impressionist school of though and painting without a thought. Monet at the forefront. All of us found our own special one. Leafing through the dark, usually damp shelves with books not colourful enough...each one of us was immersed in a new...

1. Blue screen blinking eyes Discussions in the cloud The line goes dead 2. Coffee sounds traffic smells The day has begun on a smoky note The next year is here 3. Hush in the corridor Sushi and wine high on mind Rush in the arteries 4. Free flowing words like salt Arrested mid-flight by PowerPoint Drenched and lost in projector's light

This song comes to mind each time I think of all that has been going wrong in my country for these past few years and months … What did we see when we saw the group molestation of a girl in Assam…how could such things come to pass? How could people just watch? How and why did it happen? The violence in Assam… people ousted from their own homes by outsiders…violence, homelessness, arson, killing …. It is their home…why should they be asked to leave by outsiders? The protest in Mumbai against the violence in Assam which erupted into violence with death, fire and devastation…  it was supposed to be a voice against violence…then what happened? People from the North East leaving en masse from the south of India…being apparently threatened… with murder in their own cities, in their own country… how did this happen? All of these are not real. There has to be something which is at the core of it, something which is tangible. All of us during our growing up years are taught the s...

It is not the most pleasant of weathers these days - not in Delhi, nor in Puri. Yet this is the time that divinity chooses to come to our doorsteps. I'm talking about the rath yatra - the Jagannath rath yatra which takes place each year around this time. The Jagannath rath yatra is THE festival of all Oriyas and all Jagannath followers. And I too have my favourite moments of this festival. I'm not an overly religious or traditional person but I do have festivals that I like. And moreover, the whole story and the human-like behaviour of Jagannath is what pulls me to this awesome threesome. To start at the beginning, Jagannath, Balabhadra, and Subhadra are the three main Gods of Orissa. And what makes this combination different and dearer to me is that this is a combination of not couples like Radha-Krishna or Rama-Sita. Instead, it is a combination of brothers and sister. Jagannath is a form of Vishnu while Balabhadra is Balaram. Subhadra is their sister. All three of them ar...

It has been some time since I posted anything to my blog...Many a times, an idea takes shape somewhere at the back of my head (just above the top of the neck to be precise) and I let it stay there for many reasons. The first and foremost reason is my loathing for logging into a laptop after spending the working day looking at one and typing away. There are also the long hours of commute that cause this decay and delay. Hmm...so, well today, I intend to cross over to the other side of this hiatus and hopefully, pen down something worthwhile.

Geeta starts from home having gone through a rushed morning routine of packing lunch for her 10 year old and for her husband. She also stops by to check on her in-laws who stay a couple of blocks away. All done, she ticks off in her head. And then heads out to her workplace. She debates between being extravagant and taking an auto or getting pushed around in the Metro. She’s hoping that an auto will show up first and she will be able to take that as an excuse for spending more on herself. 10 mins, no luck! Geeta decides to walk towards the Metro station. As she is about to cross the road, a bike zooms past and a shining new BlackBerry falls to the road with a thud. Her instant reaction is to pick it up. And then, a minute later, start the doubts and the questions. Geeta starts cursing herself for having picked it up and not minding her own business. She thinks if she should just wait for the biker to return to claim it, if yes, for how long should she wait? She looks around furtively...

It was a cold winter evening in New Delhi and we were busy thinking what to cook for dinner. We had to give it more thought than usual because Aju and Aie (my maternal grandparents) were visiting us and they wouldn’t relish a quickly cooked up dinner. While we hummed and hawed about it in the tiny kitchen, we had left Aju and Aie in the living room. Both of them were covered from head to foot and Aju was also wearing his woolen cap. The TV was on and the news reader was talking about the falling temperatures in the city with images of the homeless on Delhi’s streets. We went into the room just to check on them if they were comfortable. Immediately, Aju freshly influenced by the images on TV and the growing coldness said – “Let’s have bread and soup. And don’t spend too much time in the kitchen in this cold.” While we thought that was unusual and he wouldn’t really relish it, I knew that Aju had thought of all of us being together in the warm room and so that we didn’t feel the guilt of...

Have you ever noticed how the mind and body react almost in the same manner to fasting or feasting? Both lead to extreme senses and make one wish that one had not fasted or feasted as much. The day begins and the feeling of quiet descends on me just to escape as soon as I realize that in a fit of “purity”, I had promised myself that I would fast today. What ever made me think of such a thing? Was I not in my right mind? Well, the deed is done and I have only myself to blame. Not wanting to go back into thinking why I imposed this on myself, I tell myself that I will go on with the plan for as long as I can. It’s not that I will die if I don’t eat one day! So, let’s drink to that! Oops…ill fitting metaphor that. I walked into the kitchen to get the breakfast and the lunch ready. And no, my resolve was not broken since I do not like the smell of food early in the morning anyway. So, I went about my way in the usual manner – humdrum way. Get the subzi out of the fridge, heat it in the ...

Je ne sais ce qui se passe dans ma vie Ma vie me étonne, m’échappe, me contrôle Le contrôle me laisse sentir ma liberté La liberté vient du corps à l’esprit L’esprit de mon être m’entoure, m’arrache L’arrachement est fort, il me jette Jeter dans le monde, je commence encore Le commencement me renouvelle, me renaît La naissance est le début vire vers la fin La fin qui vient après avoir traverse le chemin Le chemin long et qui continue éternellement Eternel est le voyage de se découvrir La découverte de l’esprit, de la liberté, du contrôle De la vie. Commentaire - J'ai écris ce poème (?) en 2003-04. C’était quand j’étais au boulot et j’attendais un appel téléphonique. Je suis plus sur pourquoi je l’écris. Mais aujourd'hui il y a quelque chose qui m'a pousse de le mettre ici. Alors, c'est aujourd'hui que ce poème est n é .

It is kind of sad when people drift away or apart. And such a phase happens with all at various times of their life. Circumstances change and people change with them. For what is the worth of a person if he or she is not adapting to the changing circumstance or situation? As we go in life, we meet people who seem to color your world in those bright brilliant fairy-tale colors...but unfortunately, all of this comes with a timer. Sooner or later, the lights go out, the color fades, the music stops and a new circumstance comes into being. And then, once again, the warrior puts on fresh paint and gears up for the new things that will come on his or her way and how it will be dealt with. "Dealt with"...hmm....it seems like a strange word to use for something that should ideally be lived. We say we are dealing with things, with work, with home, with life! Why are we dealing with it and do we realize that when we are dealing with it, those moments are actually being lived? That is w...

Here is more from a person who is dreading the approaching summer in Delhi and is mourning the beautiful winter days gone by... These are a few of the things that I will not see or feel when summer is here. :). When the cold wind makes me gasp for breath Cold, cold fingers even when holding a hot glass of tea Fitting into your sports shoes with two pairs of socks Lovely, warm-colored socks a-plenty Walking barefoot on the namdaa carpet Feeling the cold water splash on your face and just take away all the heat in a second! Smart, well-dressed men in exquisite cuts of midnight blue pin-striped suits Long coated, open-haired, smartly-turned out women with the quintessential high boots (PS: Very much the fashion flavor this time in Delhi. The height of the boots varied ...) Pakoras and chai every evening! Chanel's Eternity Lakme's starshine gloss European checks woollen mufflers in beige and black and grey Silken stoles in lavender and wine red and dark blue Do share yours.

Already the sun seems to shine too bright. Already the mist seems to have disappeared. Already the tea feels too hot... We've had a lovely winter here in Delhi this year and I think such a winter has come in quite a long time. Trees disappear into the fog Those lights look like they are beckoning me ...Asking me to tread the unknown path? A path where the mist hangs close to you and the branches touch you I see the smoke rising... Is it from the huge pan of lovely ginger tea? Is it from the beedi that the rickshaw-walla has just lighted? Is it the voice within burning away in mediocrity? Is it just the mist trying on a new form? Ah...nice ginger tea in a glass, yummy mathris And another theory to be articulated and shared Will the modern man ever be truly liberated? Will Bach be appreciated? Do the Santros always become accomplices in crime? Winter evenings, the lovely fragrance of those unnamed flowers Tea and warm woolen hands Comfortable black socks and colorful traditional sha...

Today is 26 Jan of the year 2010, and yes - i know - to most of us it is a welcome break in the middle of the week! What bliss! Yet, what I wanted to talk about was the Republic Day and all that the word means to me. As a child, I always used to wonder as to why we have more fun activities and colorful pageants on the Republic Day, while in contrast, the Independence Day is quite a dry affair. I think that realization dawned on me today. Let me share the pearls of wisdom :). Though independence is important, we wouldn't know what to do with it unless we had our rules and laws and our constitution. And that is why being a Republic needs more strength than being a free country. It is only with a sense of purpose and an even greater sense of responsibility that we can really be free. So, I guess that decides it for me. After a long time, I woke up early enough to watch the entire parade on TV. And better, I also watched that everlasting, timeless piece of heaven (which they call music...

The rules of the award: Link the person who tagged you. Copy the image above, the rules and the questionnaire in this post. Post this in one or all of your blogs. Answer the four questions following these Rules. Try to recruit at least seven (7) friends on your Blog Roll by sharing this with them. Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR (PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK) athttp://bloggistame.blogspot.com/ and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List. The questions: The person(s) who tagged you: Sripriya His/her site’s title and url: http://srigenesis.blogspot.com/ Date(s) when you were tagged: 22/07/09 Persons you tagged: Divkiran: http://silentbeauty2001.blogspot.com/ Mahima: http://ekkahaanimahimakizubaani.blogspot.com/ karsyns_nanny: http://mynoticingproject.blogspot.com/ Sarika: http://www.potlee.com/ :-)

I believe I'm a sun person Long cold days of Delhi with its lovely winter of the past Always made me yearn for the sun to appear at last Foggy days when the school bus was just two circles of smokey yellow Rainy days when the world was all shades of gray and a muddy puddle Few moments of the delicious sun on winter evenings in the garden Oranges and books and the nice cream thin shawl Winter has gone, am in the land of the sun Everything is alive, ripe, full of life Mosquitoes and worms and flies all thrive Bread goes bad, the spinach has dried up Tomatoes are shriveled and the wind has given up My back is cold with sweat, my skin has changed color I rub the sun away from my eyes and yet it wins and dries them up Yellow has gone and blue is back Red is completely ignored, green strives to win the day Sun - life with you or without you - is difficult Life - with sun or without sun - is difficult I know the sun will rise again...today, tomorrow, and forever - My hand at poetry and I ...